MIssing Summer :D

I have Found Ture Hapiness !

I have really being feeling more happy lately. Its because of the raw food lifestyle which has opned my life into a whole new amazing gift. i felt like i was so blind because i was missing out. i know the universe made me get into yoga and healthy eating and being happy. i can finnaly say that i have found the first road to hapiiness and there will be many more to come. The way my life has been changing has been amazing and also challenging. through the challenges i am really learning about my self. i want to develope a positive attitide about my self. i gained this mentality of i will not give up and i dont think i ever will because i have been scared for life in a good way. for the first time in my life i understood the purpose of life and i enjoy facing new challnges. i am more open to things and i am questioning a lot of things in my life. I get very unhappy when i "fall of the wagon" or when im negative at tiems but im learning to move on and just live my life day by day. all the planning never did any good. My eyes have been opned in a sense that i amin a different realm. they way i see things others are so blind to like i was. I am eating so much better. i Dont binge barely anymore. I am nicer and trying to really enjoy living in the moment. I now knowit okey to expiriance pain because at the end its all worth it. and plus im sucha dare devil i like challnge bring it ON! lol :P silly me . i know now aware of the law of attraction.. i thought it was a relationship with a person but i found it a relationship with the universe. My Prorities have changedon what i want to do with my life. I will let the universe answer that. I thought yoga was sorta dumb now its amazing and love and peace and everything to mee even tho i dont practice it often and i will but i know what it can do. I no longer really am confident with what i want to become.. Im thinking in the medical field but if i let the universe guide me it will be even better. I am more sensetive and am irritated by this fast paced american life i want to be somewhere peacfull and warm .. where the sun shines all the time.. the waves crash and i sit at thes hore with my amazing husband and kindsss.. AHh thinking about it i can drown. BUt even if my envisioned dreams dont come true i know a better one will ...but All i can say it that through the ups and downs i am so GLAD i found a new way to live. I dont know what else there is after this. The more i seek the more i find. This new school year i wished for christian friends and hapiness and for a good school year and overall hapiness! I can finally see it happening. I dont know what else will happen till summer. So far its been amazing.

My Facebook status.. thought i would share because i dont want to forget it.

"More and more alert to my surrouding. Blocking all the world out and entering a realm of the unknown. Learning and seeking. Finding is the best gifts of life. open to the things to come that i may not know.Spiritauality is not a religion but your inner self. At the end of the day the universe alone is my guide. Were not her to suffer but to smlie each second we got". -- Betty. S

Beauty.

Thinking.

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Today was the first snow fall of 2009. its looks so good and warmy out. I posted a vid of it on youtube.i really really want to be skinny. i love the feeling it gives me and i want to feel very confertable in my own skin. for me when i like what i see in the mirror that comes from what i eat. Being skinny is a sign that i am eating better. :) i noticed taht i gain weight and lose very rapidly. I want to take 7 days of dieitng to get to my desired look. i want ither fast first or last for 2 days. and eat only raw foods the rest of the week. then i know that i will look good. I will keep up the at least 85 % raw with cooked food here and there.. very healthy and small porions. peanuts need to be aout of my life. I cant eat them . BREAKTHRU ?

well when ever i crave something i dont want to give in but i talk to myself and try to make it

something good when i promised my self it wast. Im losing all hope here and i dont want to live sad and depressed for the rest of my life. i want to be confident and being skinny doesnt mean everything but it means a lot. Im think too far ahead. i need to stay in the moment. get everything i need to do and just call it a day with no bikering and constant complaining. im geting tired of myself.But i still have hope that one day i will be really happy with the way i look. i will be strong mentally and physically. I will be nice to my body and give it what it need. I will be happy in the moment with waves tossig i shall remain untouched.IM really serioues i need to lower my portion sizes and just stick to my goals. i know for a fact that when i ride through tempations it makes me stronger and i need that. I know if i accmplish my mini goals and make o excuses it will be worth it. i get BLIND when the tempations there and all i have said dissaperas into the air. :( I cant plan everything. i must learn throught the process of accomplishing goals. its in my mind i know i can do it and i need to let go of everything. theres this chain i dont want to carry around anymore. will try to release things. i know it takes time. im greatfull im living and breathing and overall healthy.

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::IN THE MOMENT:: :]♥

Nothins working rihgt now.. but im still here :]

i really need to stay away from nuts or any nutty stuff.

no more dairy or meats. Totally vegan. i have to fast anyways. :]

so excited and im in line for my blessing ..christmas is a good time to fast i cant miss out on that and its when jesus saved me.

so no joke. U kno i take my self as a joke if i just am serioues..

and not flit each time i crave something thenill be good.

IF i drink plenty of water and have at least 2 kael jucies perday and have at least 3 servings of fruit per day i will be fine. :)

GOOD PLAN!

So Excited. I can be 100% raw all the time so i have a great plan. This is great because its more hands off! im serioues for the next for the next 7 days i want to be high raw. I only have to worry about eating after 6 or 7 p.m ...so its easier.

Im going to load up on fruits in the morning then when i get home ill have a green salad.

I have no problem being 100 % raw till 7 p.m . After i will eat cooked food if i really want to.

I need to stop saying all or nothing. i need to get at least 2 green smothies per day to alakalize. Im still getting my green in my water and my fruits with a little bit of cooked food. I can not eat any sort of nuts or peanuts. No dairy or cheese. No meats. so vegan all the way. high raw. if i can do 30 days then i will try going 100 % raw after that so the 100% raw phase is now posponed for the now for the better. Motivation is key. Pictures i find really help me! :D I know i dont want to ever go to that lifestyle of binging and eating tons of crap.