114 pounds

i am now 114 pounds and i used to weigh 120 so its been a long journey of ups and downs i know its not a lot of weight but it has been a tough journey because my weight is constantly changing and i keep finding my self in a trap. i always blow things by having that cake or what ever and i end up gaining all the weight and plus more that i lost. so it gets frustrating but im learning to accept my body the way it is. i know it doesnt look horrible. i know i need to be easier on my self and true beuty is not on the out side. i say taht to my self but lately it really has been sinking in so thats good. today i went to the pool and i kinda felt confertable in my own skin but i sknow i still have a lot more work to do on improving my self esteem. its weird because sometimes its so high and then it shoots down. well we will see how things go. p.S i will be goign to the beach (ocean city) on thursday and right now is 1.43am on a pretty chill july summer and today is monday night so i have 2 more days before the beach. :)