MY great Big History

this process of going raw is hard. im not sure if im making it a big deal or if it actualyl is. but if you think about about umm i have been raised on cooked food. Sugars especialyl in the last year i have ha da new desire for sugars and over the summer i started binging. This summer marked marked my iunhealthyest state ever. Im not proud of that but i have gained a lot of knowledge and even very recently like less thatn a month ago i feel like i ghave been set free. I came to a big realization and i felt as if my eyes were literally opned. I tried going raw for the first time not even completly raw but i certainly had tons of green mothies, and smothies and lots of veggies and fruits. I discorvered many interesting recepies. I found that nuts are really no good for me. they weigh me down so much and i just dont feel like my self after. Nuts started to kinda taste bad to me. Another intresting thing that happned was that after the 4 days of high raw i got sick when i took my first bite of meat. my spinal cord literally attacked me. the meat didnt taste good what so ever. Im not sure if it because it was actualyl bad or weather my taste for it had changed. while i wa eating raw there was no negative things like guilt or battle over what i ate. I felt lighter and better knowing that i was doing something amazing for my body.you know when i look at raw foodist who were once addicted to cooked foods or mcdonalds ahppy with who they are,lost weight and look amazing. Aside from physical factor they accomplished something that is liek a mountain to me right now. One of my biggest goals it to get to my healthyest possible state. it is to over come binging and to stop putting unhealthy junk that has little to no nutritional value. I cant say im confident with what i want to do as of now but i know that i cant keep eating this way and expect to get better.I dont have any major sicknesses but i am over weight. I dont have the best self esteem. I want to feel vibrant for my school.Vibrant and healthy and light for my god. Its not about looking cool. Its not about trying to be different but i would like to over come this food thing. not syaing it poison but its a process and for once i want to set a goal and accpomplish it. it will strengthen me mentally and also its not like im perfect. Im very unhealthy. Ya i dont drink soda or i dont relaly eat mcdonalds. But i eat way too much sugar. I have way too much carbs and my image can testify for that. I have no clue why i started t eat so bad again. It was a mes up it was a continuing junk fest. Now i really understand that i need to be right in the mind before i try and control my physical body. What i know now it that i need to go raw for 7 days then 14 after that to detox my body and to reverse the damadge done and i cant keep eating junk after 7 days. I dont want to put a time limint on my health. School is a big factor. being hte procrasinator that i am i make school so much longer and more complicated and i dont do as well as i know i can and i just get disconencted from all the positives and get into this bubble. This is the story of my life espicially food wise and i have quite a bit of history of junk so its time to face the real pains and detox and prosper. Im ready to feel some pain for once and actually enjoy it. I dont wnat to look on to this process as so Difficult and undoable. I know it is and i Know that i can do it and i have what it takes its just a matter of allwoing some difficulty to cross the river. I bet it wont be as bad or as difficult. I belive god brought htis cahallenge to my life so that i can become better and better and he keep renewing me which i awsome. !